I’ve always had an unpredictable stomach. Whether it was due to my lactose intolerance (and the fact that I refused to give up fro-yo) or my anxious nature, la toilette and I have had a love-hate relationship for many moons, and any modesty when speaking the language of “bathroom” went out the window long ago.
That’s probably why my friend, an editor at What’s Good by V, recently called on me to try out The Vitamin Shoppe’s most popular oxygen cleanse and report back on how my body/mind/spirit made it through the seven-day experience. And while the timing wasn’t quite right for me personally (I’d just started an office job after many years of freelancing from home), I couldn’t deny my curiosity.
I accepted the assignment with some hesitation (my new office does not contain single occupancy bathrooms and I had a feeling I’d be needing some privacy for this experiment), but my interest certainly piqued when the product arrived in the mail. Here’s what it says on the label:
“Mag O7 is a specially formulated magnesium-based compound which has been ozonated and stabilized to release Reactive Oxygen Species (ROS) when used as directed. Mag O7 has a stool softening effect, which eliminates the digestive track of unwanted debris. Mag O7 aids the digestive process by slowly releasing beneficial ROS which helps friendly bacteria utilize nutrients efficiently. Mag O7 is non-habit forming.”
While I was pleased to learn that there was no chance of my becoming a Mag O7 junkie, the words “unwanted debris” were jarring. After all, is any debris in one’s body actually “wanted”? I couldn’t help but picture the remains of an old, moldy pirate ship stranded in my large intestines.
I began my cleanse on a Friday night, knowing that if anything were to go very wrong the following morning, at least I wouldn’t be trapped at work. TGIF.
The Beginning
The instructions were a bit of a mind-bender: They said to take “up to five” capsules at bedtime with eight to 12 ounces of water. “Up to”? Hmm.
Everyone’s bodies react to cleanses differently, so the vagueness of the dosage is meant to account for all types of stomachs. (“Daily dosage will vary depending on individual and intended purpose,” says the label.) Still, I couldn’t help but overthink the decision of how many to begin with. If I have one complaint with the product, it’s that it doesn’t come with a choose-your-own-adventure chart to help you make such an irreversible choice. Then again, there is some sort of twisted excitement in the risk…
It took me about 30 minutes to decide on trying three capsules—right smack dab in the middle. I knew I’d be underwhelmed if I only took one, but starting out with five sounded like a recipe for disaster.
I’m glad I only took three. And that I did it on a weekend.
Let me preface by saying that I don’t take a magnesium supplement on a regular basis. I have heard that magnesium is very effective at supporting regularity, but I can personally say that Mag O7’s mix of elemental magnesium and elemental potassium is SUPER-effective.
The morning after I took my first thee capsules, I wasted no time heading to the bathroom. I didn’t feel sick—I just knew I had to go. There’s no mistaking that feeling.
That morning I went a few times, which was somewhat inconvenient, but also, well…cleansing. Like I said, the stuff works.
I did experience quite a bit of gas, so when nighttime rolled around, I knocked my dosage down to two capsules. I have a young child and was tired of hearing him make fart jokes at Mom’s expense.
The Middle
It turns out two capsules was the magic number for me. The gas went away, but every morning, without fail, I cleansed. There was no cramping or nausea, yet I will say that my BMs were not solid. (Sorry, I know some people can get squeamish at these types of details, but it’s something you should know if you’re looking to do an oxygen cleanse.)
At work I did not run into any issues; in fact, I didn’t need to go number 2 at all from 9 a.m. onward. This was strictly an early morning ritual, which, according to many doctors, is the best time to go number 2. Score!
The End
The cleanse can be taken for seven or 10 days, according to the label, and while I toyed with the idea of extending my experiment another three days, I ultimately didn’t think it was necessary. I felt good.
Mag 07 doesn’t claim on the bottle to do anything more than clear out your pipes, but I did notice that I was less sluggish than usual (don’t judge, I have a toddler), and my late-night sugar cravings were much less intense. Sure, some of this can probably be attributed to psychology (simply being proactive about my health always seems to make me feel better, in general), but I do believe the product had something to do with it.
So, would I do it again? Yes. Especially after the holidays, or if I’m ever forced to eat bugs. Would I do it past the recommended time period? Nah. Although the label says you can use the product at a low dosage for “maintenance” beyond the instructed seven to 10 days, I’m cool with grabbing a double espresso and pot of spinach if and when I run into trouble.
In closing, I’d like to thank my friend at What’s Good by V for choosing me for this assignment. While I’d like to think I was the first writer you thought of, I’m pretty sure I was just the only person you knew who would say yes.